When I twisted my foot and felt the intense pain and saw the immediate swelling of my foot, I realized I was injured seriously enough that I wouldn’t be able to dance, walk or do standing yoga for some time. I quickly iced and elevated my foot. Then I started crying, (more like sobbing) not because of the pain, but because I wouldn’t be able to conduct my regular active, independent lifestyle. Fear, anger and despair cursed through my body.
When I visited the doctor, she told me I had cracked a bone and I’d be out six to eight weeks. After my initial despair, I felt defiant. I’m healthy and strong and I was determined to heal quicker. I thought, “Screw six weeks, I can do it much faster.” However, a couple of days later I injured the other foot while getting out of the shower. Because it was holiday weekend and I didn’t go to the emergency room. My husband bought me another boot and stabilized the foot. We knew that either I broke the middle toe, dislocated the joint or sprained it. Regardless, I now cannot use either foot! Rest, elevation and stabilization would be the keys to recovery.
After a lifetime of never breaking a single bone in my body, in three days I rendered myself disabled. So I sat down and realized the universe wants me to chill out. Stop pushing the healing process and allow it to happen. Learn patience and ask for help. I injured the other foot because I wanted to do my basic activities on my own and I wouldn’t ask for help. Now I have no choice. My husband has to wheel me around or carry me. I’m at least 95% dependent. I felt very depressed and had to work through the emotions of my temporary loss. Then I started feeling guilty because in the grand scheme of things, six to eight weeks is not much. And we are human beings who are interdependent. We need one another. I needed to allow myself to let others help me and stop feeling guilty for asking.
So many emotions arise during these minor setbacks. However, it appears clearly to me, if we don’t connect to the lessons and learn, the universe will kick you back until you start hearing. So yes, I’m listening. Foot number two down and I’m not moving. So I’m in the learning process of letting go, working on patience and showing immense gratitude for my health, my body, my senses, my mind and my loved ones. We take for granted everything until we get some health scare or family setback. Deadlines, appointments and schedules consume us until a split second can change a week, month, year or lifetime.
I like to see the positive in the presumed “bad things” that happen to us. If a two month period of immobility teaches me to become a more patient and compassionate person, I will become better for the experience. I’m indeed grateful for my husband who is strong enough physically and emotionally to carry me through it. And I thank God/Goddess every moment that my body, this vehicle that transports me through this life journey, is healthy, strong and flexible. I simply pray that any other learning lessons are delivered in an easier way with a less disruptive process.
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