I remember as a kid going through the sex education classes at school – it was probably the fourth or fifth grade when we were about 10 or 11 years old. The sex education class was always heavily anticipated with giggles of excitement and embarrassment. Boys went into one room and girls were separated into another. Girls learned about menstruation and the development cycle of a baby and the boys received a similar male oriented discussion. We all knew that sex was supposed to be good, why else was it always talked about on television and magazines? However the class left out the pleasurable details about sex, making it solely about reproduction.
I honestly cannot remember how old I was until I learned about the formal term of the clitoris leaving it to sexual experimentation to pin point the discovery. But no adult ever formally educated me about my own body parts beyond vagina, uterus and fallopian tubes. According to Dorian Solot and Marshall Miller’s book, I (heart) Female Orgasm, “In a 2005 study of heterosexual college students, 29 percent of women and 25 percent of men weren’t able to locate the clitoris correctly on a diagram of female genitalia. The word ‘vagina’ regularly steals some of the clit’s limelight. When parents try to teach their children the correct anatomical words, they often tell their son he has a penis, and tell their daughter she has a vagina. While that’s true, these words are not equivalent! Many girls grow up with no idea that they have a clitoris (and rarely learn the word ‘vulva,’ the actual word for the collection of external organs they see when they look between their legs).”
Later I learned that the clitoris was like a little secret button for pleasure. Who knows how I obtained this information. There was no internet at that time to easily search and self-educate. However, the clitoris is a much more powerful pleasure center according to I (heart) Female Orgasm, “unlike a penis, which can be used for reproduction, urination, and pleasure, pleasure is the clitoris’s only reason for existence. Research finds that although the penis and clitoris grow from the same tissue in the early development of a fetus, the female organ is even more sensitive than the male’s: The head of the clit has more nerve endings per square inch than any other part of human anatomy, and two to four times more than the head of a penis.”
Most women have discovered their clitoris; however, most have been brought up to feel uncomfortable with their own sexual parts. I (heart) Female Orgasm says, “A lot of us got the idea that penises are beautiful, even something to be worshipped (what’s with all the phallic monuments?), but that female parts are ugly, gross, disgusting, and smelly. Give us a break! Be prepared to discover something beautiful between your legs. A lot of women are surprised to find that with the lips held apart, their vulva looks like a flower, a butterfly, a seashell, a heart, or an angel spreading her wings.”
Knowing yourself anatomically can assist in self-acceptance and self-empowerment. So where exactly is the clitoris located? The vulva has outer and inner lips surrounding the vaginal opening, urethra and clitoris. The outer lips, called labia majora, have hair (if you haven’t shaved) and the inner lips, called labia minora, surround the vaginal opening.
I (heart) Female Orgasm says it’s common for some part of one or both inner lips to protrude outside the outer lips. To locate your clitoris, open the outer and inner lips and look, “Up at the top, sort of where your outer and inner lips come together, find the glans (or head) of your clitoris. The part you’ll see is like a bump – most are less than an inch long. You may need to pull back the hood of the skin to make it visible. See if you can feel the shaft of the clitoris (like the shaft of a penis) above the head – if feels like a small cord underneath the skin. Your clitoris continues inside your body – the entire organ is about the same size as a penis, and has sensitively throughout, but these external parts (glans and skin-covered shaft) are usually the most sensitive.”
The small but mighty clitoris – an inch diameter pleasure center is a powerful spot for unleashing the female orgasm. Gently explore and sensually tend to her well.
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